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How to act like a superhero on the Internet

From: Jenny Creed
Category: Superhero Chat
Date: 29 Jan 2006
Time: 06:35:47 -0600


Hi. Even though I saw this site via Something Awful's exposť, I'm not here to laugh at you. See, I'm an actual superhero - just not a real person - and I've been doing this thing for many years, and I think I could offer some advice on how to behave yourself in chat rooms and such. 1. First and foremost, don't talk about how cool you or your powers are. You'll sound like a little child on an ego trip. Your being a superhero is a NATURAL thing to you, so act natural. 2. Don't talk about heroic adventures you've been on either, at least not in a way that just highlights how awesome you think you are. Nobody likes a guy who revels in how much better than everyone else he is. 3. This is just a pet peeve of mine, but whatever you do don't talk acts about acts of violence or about weapons as if you know more about them than anyone present. You're a hero, not a war fetichist. 4. Did I mention don't act like you're there to confirm your superiority over the human race? Because they'll just think you desperately want them to think you're super. A real superhero doesn't care what people think of him. 5. You're not there (hopefully) to brag about your superheroics, just to chat like a normal person. In fact, you might actually like to dress in your secret identity and staunchly deny you're a superhero. Act weak and indecisive, like Clark Kent does. 6. That doesn't stop you from dropping subtle hints though. If, say, someone asks what you did last weekend - and if they're genuinely interested - you might think of saying "Oh, I saved a school buss going off a cliff" or whatever you were doing, if you're prepared to hold an intelligent, objective conversation about your being a superhero. A checklist, then: Superheroes are *Humble *Confident in their strength *Un-self-conscious *Naturally accepting of their power Superheroes are not *Self-conscious *Bragging *Egoistic *Seeking attention *Emo There ya go. Feel free to ask questions. And don't screw it up. ;)

Last changed: 11/16/08